I AM TAZ. RULER OF THIS HOUSEHOLD.

I has come to my attention that the oldest female human of this household has been taking credit for the designs and charts that are being created. Silly, deluded thing.  I have decided to set the record straight.

 My daily duties include supervising all social media posts and writing the needlework charts.  Sometimes I have to hold the female human's hand down to keep her from making foolish mistakes. Do you think she could possibly write charts like that without my help? Never!

 I also have to supervise homework sessions when the young female ones are home. They are distracted so easily.  Why do they insist on wearing those disks over their ears? It makes it so much harder for them to hear my instructions!

 Then there is the difficult task of prodding the human along in what she thinks of as "her" creative process.  It takes so much energy to project the designs into her mind. I find that I often have to resort to osmosis. Yes, we felines can do this.

 Quality control is a must. All silks must be tested for texture and softness.  It takes a very long nap to ensure that the silks are good enough to be used.

 The designs must be inspected to be sure they are pleasing to the eye and worked with a high level of skill.  Sadly the human often fails to achieve feline standards of perfection and must be supervised even more closely the next time she takes needle and thread in hand.

 Photo sessions are tricky. The human will sometimes take dozens of photographs leaving out the most critical element.  I have to remind her of this in the most obvious of manner. Subtlety is wasted on humans.

 Fortunately we are able to communicate with our counter parts around the world in ways the human can not comprehend.  Here my co-conspirator, Gus, takes over the supervision responsibilities while my human was visiting a friend in North Carolina.  He had the same difficulties with her photography session. How can she think a picture is good if it doesn't contain a cat?

My cousin, Chester, is ever vigilant.  He covers the needlework while working his neighborhood watch shift.  And humans think they are the ones who invented multi-tasking!

I fear that some year the humans may realize just who is controlling the Universe. But then I remember that I can get all the treats I want when I hold the pearl cotton hostage.